Sextortion: An Emergency Guide for Teenagers and Families

Sextortion is the crime of obtaining someone's sexual photos or videos and threatening to share them in order to demand money, more images or something else. In recent years there has been a marked rise in organised, money-driven sextortion cases targeting young people, most often boys aged 14–17.

The crime moves very fast: sometimes there are only a few hours between the first message and the blackmail. Victims feel intense shame and panic. That is why knowing in advance what to do is vital.

How sextortion works

A typical scenario:

1. A fake profile: The teenager meets an account on social media or in a game that presents itself as an attractive person of their own age. The profile is usually built with stolen photos.
2. Getting close quickly: Flirting starts almost immediately. There are lots of compliments and attention.
3. The request for images: The other person first sends their own "photo" (actually someone else's or fake), then asks for one in return. Or they secretly record a video call.
4. The blackmail: As soon as an image is obtained, the tone changes. The teenager is shown screenshots of their friends list, family and school: "If you don't send money, I'll send this video to everyone."
5. Escalating demands: When a payment is made, the demands usually do not stop; they grow.

In some cases there is not even a real image: blackmailers can also threaten with fake images generated by AI (deepfakes).

Why you should not pay

This is the hardest but most important rule. Paying does not end the blackmail. Most victims who pay face new demands, because the blackmailer now knows they have found someone who will pay. When no payment is made and contact is cut off, blackmailers often move on to other targets.

Step by step for a teenager being blackmailed

1. Do not pay or send new images

However frightening it is, do not give in to the demands.

2. Stop talking, but do not delete anything

Stop replying to the blackmailer. Do not delete your account or clear the messages straight away; they are evidence. Take screenshots of the conversation and of the other person's profile (showing the username, profile link, date and time).

3. Tell a trusted adult

This may be the hardest step, but it is the most important one. Tell your mum, dad, a relative, a teacher or a school counsellor. Most adults react with much more understanding than you expect, because they know this is a crime and that you are the victim.

4. Block and report the account

After saving the evidence, block the blackmailer's account and report it to the platform. Most platforms have a reporting category such as "nudity or sexual exploitation" or "blackmail".

5. Ask for the images to be removed

• If you are under 18: The free Take It Down service from the US-based National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) (takeitdown.ncmec.org) helps stop the image from spreading on participating platforms, using a digital fingerprint (hash) created on your own device, without sending the image to anyone. It is free and can be used from anywhere in the world.
• If you are 18 or over: You can use StopNCII (stopncii.org), which works in a similar way.

6. Report it to the authorities

Sextortion is a crime. Report it to the police. In the US you can also report it to the NCMEC CyberTipline and the FBI; in the UK, young people can report to CEOP. In other countries, your national police or child protection hotline can help.

7. Look after yourself

It is completely natural to feel shame, fear and helplessness. But you do not have to cope with these feelings alone. Talking to a psychologist or a school counsellor helps a lot. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, share them straight away with an adult you trust, or call a crisis line: 988 in the US, 116 123 (Samaritans) in the UK and Ireland, or your local emergency number.

As a parent, if your child comes to you

Your child raising this with you may be one of the hardest moments of their life. Your first reaction shapes everything that follows.

Do

• Stay calm and take a deep breath.
• Say "Thank you for telling me. I love you, and we will sort this out together."
• Tell them clearly that they are the victim and that the blackmailer is the one at fault.
• Help them save the evidence and contact the authorities together.
• Keep a close eye on their emotional state; get professional support if needed.

Don't

• Shout, blame or say "How could you do something like that?"
• Take their phone and delete everything; the evidence will be lost.
• Try to negotiate with or threaten the blackmailer yourself.
• Copy, forward or keep your child's images on your own device; even with good intentions, this can create legal problems.

Prevention: start the conversation before there is a crisis

Talking with teenagers about this is hard but necessary. You can share these points:

• Someone you meet online may not be who they appear to be. Photos and videos can easily be faked.
• A lot of intense attention and flirting in a short time is a warning sign.
• Once you send an image, you no longer control it; even "disappearing" messages can be screenshotted.
• Video calls can be recorded secretly.
• If you are blackmailed, it is not your fault, and there is a way out.

Technically, you can also:

• Set social media accounts to private and hide the followers list (blackmailers use the friends list as a threat).
• Restrict messages from people they do not know.
• Make sure the age settings in games and apps are correct.

Conclusion

Sextortion is one of the most frightening experiences a young person can go through, but it is one with a way out. Not paying, cutting off contact, keeping the evidence, telling an adult and going to the authorities are the ways to bring the situation under control. Most important of all is that your child knows they are not alone.

On related topics, see also our articles on online grooming and cyberbullying.