Keeping Elderly Parents Safe: A Practical Guide to Supporting Them from a Distance

Your parents may live in another city, or in the same city but in a separate home. When they do not pick up the phone twice, worry creeps in: have they fallen? Are they ill? Or is the phone just on silent? On the other hand, calling them every day to ask "What did you do today?" can be tiring for you and stifling for them.

In this guide we look at how you can support your older relatives' safety while respecting their autonomy and dignity.

First, the mindset: support, not control

For older people, independence is a cornerstone of self-respect. Approaches like "We're going to keep track of you" or "You can't live alone any more" are usually met with resistance and hurt. What works is involving them in the decisions:

• Don't say "We don't trust you"; say "We worry about you."
• Offer choices rather than imposing suggestions: "Would you rather send a message every morning, or press a single button?"
• Remember that they worry about you too: a two-way system ("I'll let you know every evening too") is easier to accept.

Reducing the risk of falls at home

Falls are one of the main causes of serious injury and loss of independence in older people. According to the World Health Organization, a significant share of people over 65 fall at least once every year. Simple changes at home markedly reduce the risk:

Home checklist

• Lighting: Corridors, stairs and the route from the bedroom to the bathroom should be well lit. Night lights and motion-sensor lights help a lot.
• Rugs: Slippery rugs and mats should be removed or fixed with non-slip tape.
• Cables: Extension cables across walkways should be tidied away.
• Bathroom: Non-slip mats in the shower and bath, and grab bars next to the toilet and shower.
• Stairs: Handrails on both sides, with clearly visible step edges.
• Frequently used items: Things used often in the kitchen and cupboards should sit between waist and eye level, so there is less need to climb on chairs.
• Footwear: Wear non-slip, closed-back slippers or shoes at home.

Health steps

• Have regular eye tests and keep glasses prescriptions up to date.
• Review any medication that may cause dizziness with the doctor.
• Encourage regular movement that builds balance and strength (walking, gentle exercise).

A daily "I'm OK" signal

The simplest way to know that a relative who lives alone is all right is an agreed daily signal. It is much less tiring than long phone calls every day, and it respects the older person's privacy.

Options:

• A short message or emoji at the same time every morning
• A short phone call at a set time
• A one-tap "I'm OK" notification

What matters is agreeing in advance what happens if the signal does not come: "If I haven't heard from you by 11, I'll call. If you don't answer, I'll call Margaret next door."

Koriva has a simple screen for older relatives, a one-tap "I'm OK" notification and suspicious-link alerts. The person chooses what is shared. If a relative who has sent "I'm OK" at least once before stays silent for 24 hours, the family is informed; no health data is collected automatically.

Preparing for emergencies

Emergency button and speed dial

On your older relative's phone:

• Set up emergency contacts so they can be reached from the lock screen.
• Add 3–4 frequently called people as speed dials or large shortcuts on the home screen.
• Turn on the phone's emergency SOS feature (on many phones, by pressing the power button several times) and try it out together.

Koriva's emergency button immediately notifies everyone in the family when it is pressed. If there is no connection, the alarm waits on the phone and is sent when a connection returns. But Koriva does not call emergency services; in a real emergency, call the emergency number first (112 in the EU, 911 in North America, 999 in the UK).

An information sheet

Keep an information card somewhere easy to find at home (on the fridge, for example) with:

• Medication and doses
• Chronic conditions and allergies
• Doctor and hospital details
• Relatives' phone numbers
• Blood type

In an emergency, this information can be vital for paramedics or neighbours.

A network of neighbours and people nearby

Get in touch with a neighbour, caretaker or relative who lives nearby, and exchange phone numbers. Having someone who can knock on the door when needed can be worth more than the best technology. You might also consider leaving a spare key with a trusted neighbour.

Keeping track of medication

Older people who take several medicines are at high risk of forgetting a dose or taking it twice:

• Use weekly pill organisers with compartments for each day and time.
• Set phone alarms for medication times.
• Review the medication list regularly with the doctor.
• When a new medicine is started, ask the pharmacist about interactions with the others.

Protection against scams

Older people are among the groups scammers target most often. Fake police calls, "your son has had an accident" scripts, fake bank calls and fake officials at the door are the most common methods.

Talk through these rules with your older relative and remind them regularly:

• The police, prosecutors and banks never ask for money, gold, passwords or verification codes over the phone.
• Anyone on the phone who rushes you, frightens you and says "don't tell anyone" is a scammer.
• When in doubt, hang up and call a family member.
• Verify the identity of officials at the door by calling their organisation; do not let anyone in without an appointment.

We cover this in detail in our articles on scams targeting older adults and phone scams. In Koriva, calls from numbers that families have reported as scams are blocked; this protection works on Android and iPhone.

Simplifying technology

For older people, technology helps as long as it is easy:

• Make the text and icons on the phone bigger.
• Keep only the apps they really use on the home screen.
• Create one-tap shortcuts for video calls.
• Turn on automatic updates so security holes are fixed automatically.
• Be patient when teaching a new feature; leaving the steps as a written note helps a lot.

Location sharing: only with consent

Location sharing can be a valuable safety tool, especially for older people starting to have memory problems. But like every adult, older people have the right to decide. When you raise the subject:

• Explain clearly why you are suggesting it: "So that we can find you straight away if you ever feel unwell while you're out."
• Talk about who can see it and when they can switch it off.
• Do not track their location secretly.

If memory problems and the risk of getting lost are involved, our article on wandering in Alzheimer's and dementia gives more detail. For the general principles of location sharing, see our family location sharing guide.

Emotional health and loneliness

Emotional health matters as much as physical safety. Loneliness is closely linked with depression and health problems in older people:

• Regular video calls and short video messages from the grandchildren
• Encouraging them to join local activities, clubs or volunteering
• Shared activities on set days (Sunday breakfast, watching a series together)

Remember: the best safety system is a regular, warm relationship.

Conclusion

Keeping elderly parents safe is not about taking control of their lives; it is about supporting their independence with a safe home, a simple daily signal, a ready emergency plan and awareness of scams. Taking each of these steps by talking it through with them protects both their safety and their dignity.